WHO STOLE MY METABOLISM??!!!

I was standing in the coffee shop this a.m. and someone came over and said "You sprinkle cinnamon on your lattes, don't you?" "Yeah," I said, "it's supposed to be good for you..." "Yes," she said, "it's supposed to help your metabolism...."

"I used to have metabolism," I said, "I wonder what happened to it?" "EXACTLY!" she said, "WHO STOLE MY METABOLISM?"

And you know, that is the essence of the problem.

I was not a bio major in college but I believe your metabolism has something to do with how quickly or efficiently your body processes nutrients etc. When you have a high basal metabolism, I think it means that you can eat fairly heartily and not put on pounds. If your metabolism is low, it's the opposite.

One of the real frustrations of aging for women is that their metabolism just seems to get up and walk off the stage. One day you're sort of a normal looking person and the next day you're "matronly." And no one can explain why.

Except people who understand metabolism. What are those people called? Endocrinologists? Haven't a clue.

All I know is that I'm sitting next to a group of eight men, all of whom are older than I am, and they're all thinner. That sucks, as the kids say. Now, it might be that this particular group of guys don't hang out with heavyset people. But somehow I just think that women have gotten the short end of the stick.

Maybe metabolism is one of those things that you can order on the internet....I don't know how much to order though and what kinds of sizes/amounts it comes in. Maybe I'll ask for a "medium" and see how that works out, and tweak it from there....