Friendship, Friendship, just the perfect blendship...

I saw the most wonderful quote on the NYT website today: " Not only do we have to eat right and exercise, now we have to make friends, too! ”
— Peter H
The Power of Friendship

Yeah, making friends. Such a burden. Almost as bad as having to eat broccoli.

Actually, I LOVE broccoli and I rejoice in my friendships. But there is no doubt that having close friends can literally lengthen your life. It's been scientifically proven and works more effectively than stopping smoking, losing weight or eating broccoli.

One of the things that we don't like to think about is that, as we age, all the people we now hold dear, depend on, take for granted, will not necessarily be around. Modern pharmaceutical technology has certainly changed the outlook for everyone, and older men especially, but the reality is that when you look at retirement homes, there are an awful lot of women eating together.

And while losing your spouse can be devastating, losing your best friend can have the same kind of effect. And what if you never had a best friend? If your spouse is your only friend (and unfortunately, this can be true for many men) then you find yourself isolated. And there are very practical reasons why you need to keep other people in your life.

The reality is that, sometime between now and when you're 90, stuff will happen. You'll break your hip, you'll have eye surgery, you'll succumb to the shingles. You'll need other people to help you. Yes, you can tough it out and show people how independent you are, but the best prescription is to let others assist you, and you can be there to return the favor when they need assistance.

That means keeping up relationships. And not always assuming that your children are going to be waiting on you hand and foot. (Hint: They're not.) And it means developing relationships with people younger than you are so that when you're 70 or 80 you have lots of 50 and 60 year old friends who don't mind driving you to the grocery store or picking up a bottle of wine.

So, at every birthday, inventory your list of friends. Give thanks for the ones you have and remember to tell them personally what they mean to you. And find a new friend who will be around when your old friends move to Arizona. You may be laughing now, but I know I'm right....